Dear Andrew,

I can't believe I don't get to see your beautiful little face again.  Those perfect little ears, soft skin, and full head of hair.  You were more beautiful than I ever imagined.  I didn't know your father and I could create something so beautiful and perfect.  We went to print your pictures the other day and the woman commented about what a beautiful baby you were.  Our response wasn't enthusiastic and I think it confused her.  Aren't parents supposed to be excited about their newborns?  Aren't parents supposed to be beaming with pride when people compliment their babies?  But all we can feel is sadness and an emptiness where you should be.  Sad that we aren't going to watch you grow up.  Sad that we will never hear your first word.  Sad that you are only part of life through our memories of the short time we had with you.  Our house is so empty without you.  Your room is gathering dust and all of your little clothes are sitting unused.  And all I can do is imagine what life would have been like if you had lived.  I spend a lot of time thinking about that but I suppose it's fitting because it's what I did when you are alive and kicking inside me.  I imagined a life that was full of happiness not a life that was full of tears.  Now I imagine what could have and should have been rather than what is now our reality.

I miss you.