Dear Andrew,

What a difference a year makes.

Today is the Holles St remembrance mass in your church.  We are heading over with Liam in toe.  So different to last year where we had only lost you a few months earlier.  The whole affair was filled with tears and heartbreak.  While I'm sure there will still be tears and there is always heartbreak it will be comforting this year to have your brother with us.  He gives us a little bit of light and happiness that has been missing since we lost you.

I went to visit you today on my own.  It's something I don't get to do too often anymore.  It was nice to spend some time just the two of us.  I brought you some autumn decorations for your box and had a little chat.  On this lovely overcast morning I sat and had a one sided conversation with you.  And it was needed.  I miss you everyday.  I think about you everyday.  But life is starting to get in the way of spending quality time with you.  It's not necessarily a bad thing.  I can't always be filled with the overwhelming sadness that comes with being fully immersed in you.  I need to live in the moment and enjoy your brother who is here with us.  But occasionally it's nice to just sit in the cemetery and talk to you.  To give you the time and attention you deserve.

I miss you and love you baby boy.  I think about you everyday.  But you already know that...