Dear Andrew,

Life is just moving too quickly.  I was thinking today about how it's been nearly two years since we lost you.  How is that possible?  Some days it feels like it only happened yesterday and other times it feels like it happened to someone else.  It feels like a lifetime ago but the pain still feels so fresh.  It's a confusing feeling.

Your little brother changes daily.  He's growing and learning and becoming his own little person.  I don't see you in him anyone the way I did in the beginning.  And a part of me is sad about that.  I can't see past what you looked like as a newborn.  I can't compare you two.  It ended after your brother was born.  There was no more to compare.  And that is devastating.  Just another layer of loss that no one thinks about.

I find myself very emotional randomly.  I can be doing something mundane and you just pop into my head.  Not a day goes by where I don't think of you at least once but if I am honest I think about you multiple times a day.  I miss you so much and grieve for your daily.  It might not be as raw as it was nearly two years ago but it is still there.  I still miss you and wonder about you and think about you and love you.