Dear Andrew,

I know I haven't written in awhile but you know that I always talk to you. You are my constant companion and I imagine that you always will be now.

Christmas was hard this year. You should be 2.5. Christmas should have been exciting to see through your eyes. We would have been laughing and watching with joy as you excitedly opened your Santa presents. We did this with your brother but at 17 months he didn't know what was going on.

It broke my heart this year buying your Christmas presents to donate to other children. It's lovely to know someone your age is enjoying your presents but it doesn't make buying them any easier. I was standing in Smyths completely overwhelmed by what to buy. Eventually I made a decision but it was hard. I wondered what you would have asked for on your Santa list. Would you have wanted Legos like your brother or Paw Patrol? Would you be into something else like Sesame Street? I don't even know what a 2.5 year old likes and it's hard to accept that I'll never know what you would have enjoyed.

For Christmas we stopped by your grave and gave you a little paw patrol dog. We had to hide it from Liam or he would have claimed it as his own. Christmas Day is always a hard day for your father and I. To me, Christmas is for children. To see the joy and wonder and excitement through a child's eyes.  The fact that we will never see Christmas through your eyes makes it such a hard time of year.