Dear Andrew,

As we were leaving your grave today, Liam said "bye bye ACHOO". It was equal parts joyful and heartbreaking. Liam said your name! His brother's name!!! And then I realised he could have said it so much earlier if he grew up with you.

What would you two be like together? Would Liam follow you around in adoration like he does with his cousin Lucas? Would you be a doting big brother leading him astray? What trouble would you two be getting up to? What would our life look like? I always wonder about this when I see Liam with your cousin. It's a small window into what life could have been like. We could have been a happy family of four. Instead of a family of four where one is always missing.

I feel your loss every day. Every day I feel like someone is missing and every day I wonder what today would be like with you here.

I love you.