Your brother has been keeping me busy but as you know that doesn't stop me from thinking of you. God I miss you so much. After the first few whirlwind weeks with your brother the longing for you has kicked back in. It never went away but faded a bit into the background. But as we have gotten into a routine I feel it coning back in waves.
We went to see you the other day. Liam and I came in the morning to visit you. Just the three of us together. I wish the three of us were always together. It was the first time in awhile that I have cried at your grave. For the past few months I have been able to hold it together but lately I just feel more emotional. All the cuddles we get with your brother we missed out on with you. Liam will never get to grow up with you and I feel he's missing out on so much. You two could have been so close since you are exactly thirteen months apart. You could have been like two little peas in a pod. I think he would have adored you.
It's funny but as Liam gets bigger I see more of you in him. There are certain facial expressions he makes that remind me of you and your father agrees. You didn't look very similar he was first born but he seems to become a bit more like you as the weeks pass. It makes it a little bit more sad to see what you could have been like. And in his eyes I see what your eyes could have been. The eyes I never got to see...
We took professional photos with your brother when he was two weeks old and made a point of having you included. So he took photos with the twin of the bear that you are buried with. It's a little connection and so sad to think this is the closest I will get of a photo with my two boys together. I miss you so much Andrew.
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