Dear Andrew,

I miss you so much.  I can't believe it hasn't even been five months when it feels like a decade.  It seems to have hit hard again now that we are back in Ireland.  It brings back so many memories of you and this time last year when I had horrendous morning sickness.  Everything smelled disgusting but I knew it would be worth it in the end when I saw your little face. I used to make your poor dad go eat on the deck and cook food with all the windows open and it wasn't warm outside!  I find myself thinking everyday about how you were happily growing away inside me and what the outcome turned out to be.  I find myself wishing I could go back in time to enjoy my time with you more, to know that your time with me was limited to being in my body.  I kept wishing for you to be here in my arms and maybe didn't enjoy that time I had with you during the nine months inside me.  I know I read to you and rubbed where I thought your back and butt were and played music for you but I wish I had done it more often.  I wish I had spent more time talking to you and reading to you and just enjoying you.

The one thing I am thankful for is a video I have of you kicking inside me.  I sent it to your grandmother because she felt so left out not being here to see my belly grow with you inside it.  Little did I know it would be one of my most treasured things besides the lock of your hair I have in my locket.  It's the little things I have left of you that make me realize how much I loved you and how much I miss you.